was already several days that my thoughts return to those nostalgic days that university at the time considered a monotonous routine. Now take notes following a philosophy class rather than feel the adrenaline him for an exam looming seem like a lifetime away, little appreciated at the same time they have been experienced. But on the other hand we know that everything is appreciated, and maybe he regrets in retrospect. These days I researched on the Internet with the intent to enroll in a specialized, perhaps with the illusion that I can once again hear a young college student with a future by creating a blank page to write about. I pause to imagine how it could be and, although aware that I should live a university hit-and-run (not to be haunting, of course) I must admit that if I think I'm going back on the books - as they say? - Butterflies in the stomach. And I'm here to ponder .. Anthropology? Communication and Marketing?
Today I was at the mall with my boyfriend and Gabri. I was sitting at a table and I was giving a little 'ice cream to infant when my gaze met that of an old university colleague who was walking with her boyfriend. We say hello and we realized it was a life that we had not seen. Years. "From China," she said. Yes, China. Many things have changed. I brought my son I have and she told me that there is then returned to China. It 'was in Beijing with her boyfriend for a year (among other things their romance was actually born during the five week course that we did together in Shanghai).
At that moment a strange thing happened. I looked dreamy for a moment I imagined her to be, carefree, daughter of the world, free. I imagined being able to travel, learn, experience. I saw in her what I could become and what was not.
But she looked at me. He looked at my son. He was imagining mom with a baby in her arms and unconditional love that filled his heart. So much so that told me: "I envy you." And I was really surprised by these words. Perhaps less common nowadays, not "fashionable."
Someday she'll be sweaty, tired, exhausted but with a smile because her baby in her arms will. I will be away from here with my boyfriend and my beloved child, in China or somewhere, and I also smile. There is a time for
stay and a time to go .
Dreams are part of us, should not be left to die. We decide if tomorrow there will be clouds, rain. Us that if we decide it's time to live or die. The sun is shining within us first, just so he can shine outside.
Desires, dreams ambitions. Will not leave you to die. Life is one and you never know what's around the corner. The important is as expected and what he faces in Serbia for us.
Motherhood has given me something important, that before I could not make my own: the will to live.
0 comments:
Post a Comment